In My Mind’s Eye

I inhale and take an enormous whiff of…what is that?..oh yeah…freedom. It smells like old book pages and endless cups of coffee I usually can’t drink. I push my hands through it and feel the smooth fluffiness of chilled blankets and sandy floors hot with the fiery sun. It’s so palpable that I can feel it days later when I leave this place. The place in my mind that consumes me and at the same time it’s not really there. And what does it look like you ask? Well, sometimes, it’s a beach. Or a bookstore. Maybe it’s so littered with the many things I can grab out of my imagination on a whim that I can barely fit inside. To anyone its an agglomeration of nonsensical waste. I see it as the most beautiful untouchable things that matter and stows a belief of someday.

Oh the sound you say? Musical aesthetics.

 

P.S

I’m soooo very very very late with this one but I’m finally able to do it: Day two’s assignment. I didn’t have a real place to write about so I chose the idea of what my end-goal in life looks like. Basically this is the result….so…yea. Next assignment here I come!

I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT!

The obligation to write is completely throwing me off my writing flux. 

I need to play catch up

I want to do a bit of writing today without feeling like I’m putting other things off. Usually I achieve goals like this by constructing a to-do list and that helps to an extent. I’m proud and ashamed to say that I’m a chronic procrastinator. It helps me to acknowledge it because it allows me to begin to overcome this affliction. The problem also lies in the fact that I usually prolong the process of dealing with my procrastination. I think planning for me is a catch-22.

So my only way to alleviate this problem is to not plan at all or just do what I need to do when it needs to be done. Whew… Easily said than done I suppose.

Today’s goal: Complete writing assignments for yesterday and today. Work on my own story. Work on scholarships.

Look, you know what?! I give….

Let it flow….

White vanilla fell from the sky in clumps so huge I ducked inside the first available unlocked vehicle I could find. It was a huge morning and then a marshmallow decided to shave it’s head. To be in the start of a pipe dream and then flee to the nearest ocean of pizza. The heart wants what the brain feels is a chicken. Maybe this should decide my future or the dresses I wear. I’m only here to see if this could go any further than a microwave. My only downfall would be if the spiders find me. I’m a ship in the middle of a brainwaves spiraling towards a chimpanzee. Omg. Okay. Justin. delete that sentence. no wait let it just flow out of you like a lizard in a hair. omg. this is so strange to do. Umm. what to think don’t press the delete button. This is actually really freaking freeing. That’s so not fair. okay get serious. 

Sigh. The balance sits on the edge of nothing because the lion is trapped between a rock and a hard place. Like I just booked a hotel. White shirts and…[pause]

P.s.

I missed the first assignment and so here is mine. I literally typed out anything that came to mind. It was awesome and I think I’ll continue

Blogging/Writing isn’t easy

I’m having a hard time writing about things I want to write about. It goes like this…I think of something really cool, sit in front of the computer and then…complete blank. It’s very frustrating to the point that I question whether or not I’m good at writing at all. Then I have to remember that the habit of writing is a practiced art and with a forgetful brain like mine, well you have you do it on the regular. Sometimes I get this really awesome topic and i’m like Yea that’ll be totally cool and easy to write about. Then I’ll start it and it’ll end up in my drafts.

It’s difficult and I think that I’ve made writing to be this unconquerable beast who scares the hell out of me. And when you write for an audience, of course you want people to like what you have to say and have opinions. But then there’s that fear that no one will like it. That word failure starts to creep its ugly little head into that hope you had for that awesome topic. Procrastination starts to fill it’s place and I end up reading or just lounging around.

Maybe it’s the surreal expectations that I have holding my writing back. I have learned that when I just write for myself and not care how it sounds to others that I am able to write more and naturally. It’s like the words in my head come out the way I intend them to and effortlessly! Repeating that process however begins the whole shebang again.

Maybe it’s just me. Tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions please leave it in the comment box.